Though I'm told by many that I have good Nunchi (what we might call a cross between "wit", "common sense", and "gut feeling"), I seem to have only recently realized after 2 months of eating in the cafeteria that the men and women are separated. Now, I have a female co-teacher, two in fact, and each time they are first through the serving line, they sit with the women. But since I am expected to sit with them since I have come down to their office to get them for lunch, I sit with the women. However, when I am first, I usually sit, but not always, near some of the male teachers that I like in hopes that I might actually make some friends or atleast get a pity party started through the Japanese teacher and get them to invite me out one night.

Today, my new female co-teacher told me at lunch that she felt uncomfortable sitting where she was because it was the men's table. I told her, having realized the segregation last week, "I feel uncomfortable sitting at the women's table". Our anatomical differences seem to be making it toilsome for me to interact with the people I want to befriend. It's not that I don't mind being friends with women. In fact, many of my friends ARE women, but the trouble with Korea is that I have yet to meet a woman at my school who does anything besides watch movies with her husband, go to church and read. The men are the ones who are always joking and having a grand ol' time, but I think they assume I don't like that since I sit with the women most the time.

To add on to the cultural difference brought to my attention, I was also informed that the seats I usually choose when I sit at the men's table are reserved for the more deserved teachers, like the school chiefs or senior staff. So I seem to have been cycling myself through this catch-22 of tries towards friendship. When I sit at the women's table, I either join the men and alienate my co-teachers who are my translation tools, or I sit with the women and imply to the men that I don't want to be friendly and practice Korean with them. But when I do sit with them, I violate a custom that says, "hey, I'm a hotshot American teacher and can hang with the big dogs who have taken 30 years to prove themselves".