The amount of lies I will believe... it's not quite like the ignorance of the American people, but it's a little more than gullible. It might just be denial. I mean, why would my girlfriend lie to me. Why would she create lie after lie of absurdities. Why would her first lie be in regards to a family emergency? I received a frantic phone call at 1am asking for my support immediately after Lauryn would make a phone home about her mother's failing health. I could not fall asleep. I just lay there with anxiety for over an hour. Then the next day when I arrived at the coffee shop for comfort during the phone call about to take place I was told yet another lie. Her father had phoned to inform her that calling would only upset her mother and she really just needed some rest. As I sat down and ordered a cup of coffee, I noticed the extremely large bag that Lauryn carried down from The Si (read: she). I proceeded to believe yet another lie. Oh I get it, that's some teaching materials from the foreign foods mart, she's also doing the sensory lesson? That's really cool. Jalapenos? Wow, those kids are gonna be madder than mine that ate 99% cacao. Well, I was then asked if I wanted to go on an adventure. I asked no questions but refused the damn blindfold informing her that I already look like a goon and a blindfold will just make me a spectacle. I mean, c'mon, like I wouldn't feel you guiding me onto a bus? And anyway, I know this city so well that I could (did) call out landmarks as we passed them on the bus. On the bus I insisted that she not be mad about the blindfold and promised to keep my eyes closed. An hour and a half later we arrived at what the driver informed my blind self was "ilchulbong". Well, I know where we're going now, so tell me, why am I closing my eyes? We get off the bus, still promising not to look because of "this thing I found out about on Tues that I thought you'd love." I get blindfolded at this point and am asked to walk. Now it's not that I don't trust Lauryn, it's just that I don't trust her to guide a blind person. Once the scarf was wrapped around my skull, she said, "let's go." Unfortunately, she didn't understand the concept and left me there tapping my foot in hopes that she'd grab my arm and lead the way in which we'd go. Within seconds of her returning to guide me, she ran me into a pole. Finally, we get on a ferry and head to Udo. She didn't have to lie about that; I know a boat when I'm on it... oh, and also when it blares it's air horn. The lies only proceeded to grow as I exited the ferry though, this time with minor injury from the low doorways that somebody failed to mention. As we disembarked I kept asking when I could take off the scarf. Then I heard it. I heard the most awful noise to grace my ears in Korea:

"What the hell is that noise?!? Is that a person?"
"Yes."
"Is that what we came to see?"
"Maybe."

I was parked on a bench only to have the harbor of Udo revealed to my sore eyes. Why is it that closing your eyes hurts more than having them open? Anyway, the sound that pained me came from an elderly woman who sat across the road on a bench. The lies continued:

"Is that seriously what we came to see?"
"Yeah, that's the whimpering woman of Udo."
"What?"
"You haven't heard about this?"
"Why would I have heard about this?"
"Oh my god, this woman is incredible. She walks around the island singing and moaning like she is now, and is supposedly a good luck charm that Jeju people search out when they visit Udo. She just whimpers/sings like that, and if you ask her the history of Jeju she'll tell you the story of the Hallabong and ancient folklore like that."
"So you're telling me that you blindfolded me, dragged me out an hour and a half by bus to a place I knew I was going this entire time, in order for me to see an old whimpering woman?"
"Yes, well no. We are a little early, but I learned about the Udo Pride Parade that happens every Friday. They have a cow and horse parade every Friday."
"Every Friday?"
"Yeah."

About this time, some profanity and annoyance started emerging from my mouth. But I was quickly quieted with accusations that I was being insensitive to the dying Udo culture. I was pissed, though I felt sorry for not appreciating a nice gesture from someone who's mother might be dying as we speak. I called it lame and said I was going to buy a soda. As I'm paying for my Pepsi, the guy points out the window to what I assumed was the beginning of the parade. I turn around to see in the doorway 5 of my friends running in singing Happy Birthday video taping my surprise. Needless to say, it was worth the lies, worth the bus ride, and worth the piss-poor trust walking skills of someone that I used to have complete faith in.

Now I don't know what's worse: The fact that I believed such absurd lies or that in Korea these things probably exist and therefore believing that I was going to see a cow parade did not seem out of the ordinary for my life in Korea. I mean, I've seen everything else, why not a Cow Parade?