Just when you think Korea couldn't top it's own ludicrousness, it just does one better. I refer to the first weekend of March 2007 as evidence for such claims: I attended the mother of all festivals, state fairs, and insane demonstrations. The Fire Festival in Jeju is like none other. The festival lasts three days and culminates in the most awesome spectacle of environmental destruction that would give Smokey The Bear a simultaneous stroke, heart attack, and aneurysm. The Jeongwol Daeboreum Fire Festival is a celebration that originated in 1997 and is meant to reproduce the symbolic act of village farmers burning the grasses containing harmful insects to their crops. Yet, one would have no clue that is the reasoning behind the destruction of an entire "oreum", a small mountain in Jeju dialect, and that's exactly what happens.

Rafiq, Gretchen, Lauryn and I went to the festival on Friday to scope things out, play around, and hopefully see some destruction. Unfortunately, a mere attempt at merriment contained an ambulance intermission. The injury occurred at the dry-sledding ride where all the kids seemed to be having fun. But the seemingly safe amusement turned deadly for the left ankle of Gretchen. A bit of confusion and long waiting later, I rode with her back to Seogwipo to get her foot X-rayed. (Pro: Ambulance rides are free. Con: X-rays are upwards of 200 dollars.) I returned with the Paramedics in the back of the truck and remembered my only previous ambulance ride when I was 8 years old. At the festival we once again made an appearance on TV, there's something so appealing about the foreigner's perspective in Korea. It's like everyone is looking for validation from the only white people there, as if our thumbs up or "Chu wa hae yo" places significant approval from the western world on their culture. I'm sorry Korea, but I just like quirky and different things, you might have trouble gaining acceptance from the other 299,999 million people I represent. Nonetheless, you guys know how to party, because nothing says, "we kick ass" like a mountain high bonfire with fireworks propelling from the top.

Anyway, the next day was the finale in which the fire I have mentioned was lit by a group of slow marching people that from my distance resembled either a satanic cult or an angry lynch mob. Before the symbolic act, which was accompanied by the pumping sounds of Enya, was preceded by thousands of people shooting Roman candles into the air.

The torch carrying members of the mob began the intense forest fire by lighting the wood structures that people had built over the previous two days along the base of the mountain. I tell you people, if you've ever witnessed an uncontrolled burn of dry brush in the wild, it's awesome! We watched a mountain burn within minutes. The inferno ripped through the hillside sucking out all the oxygen and fueling itself with the rush of wind it drew upon itself. As the fire began spreading the fireworks began soaring.

Like I said before, just when you think Korea couldn't become any more out-of-control, you're proven wrong. I never thought I'd get to see a wildfire... thanks Korea...