A couple days ago I watched a cop run away from a drunk man. That's pretty much the story, but it gets better with the facts.

I step outside my gym around 6pm ready to stuff my face full of food like a masochistic bulimic at an all you can eat buffet (yeah? does that simile make you cringe or smile?). To my expectation, I see a belligerently drunk man in the street yelling at god knows what. Then I notice the police, who (as usual) are doing nothing about anything. But one of the authorities calls over to the man and I notice something in his hand. He reaches out to the man as they approach one another and hands him a half-full soju bottle. Now I'm thinking, why would you hand this drunkard more alcohol? I assume, they confiscated it, then realised they didn't want it and decided to be kind and give it back to him so he'd shut up. But the man grabs what belongs to him from the officer and proceeds to bull charge the other officer. What does the policeman do? Well what any upstanding, respectful, and fearless order enforcing official would do... run away. The drunk man continues to make a public spectacle of the situation and humiliate these policemen in front of a crowd. The man starts calling them 'fuckers' in Korean and what I can only assume were a onslaught of vulgarities from his half-slurred speech. The police take cover in their car, and when they decide the situation is too hairy, they leave. All the while they're driving off, the man is yelling and telling the witnesses how big of pushovers the cops are in Korea. He came up to me and started speaking to me, but all I could understand was that he thought the cops were 'fuckers'. I got this idea in my head though, obviously this drunk man has asserted his reign over the city by sending the cops cowering like dogs between their tails. If I just land a right cross on this man's jaw, sending him to the pavement, then I shall become the mayor of Seogwipo and have the townspeople at my beckon. Yes, I must assassinate the drunkard and all authority shall be mine.