Well, I'll admit it. I seem to have made a mistake. Not a grave, life threatening, mistake, but one a little more worrisome than my last move in Internet scrabble (PIN for 10 points was mere desperation). Yet it is a mistake that would just be a little sketchy if it were in America.

You see, I took an idea from some other ESL teachers and created a Gmail account just for my students to practice English since they're so goddamn shy they might as well be mute. But after more than 6 weeks with the account, I have received emails from 2 different people. One is my favorite and arguably best student from last year, the other is a girl formerly known as "Chocoholic".

Chocoholic writes me an average of 3 times a day. She frequently asks me why I only write her once a day, or as she is quoted nearly 4 weeks ago, "I write 26 times you. You only 8." I have been asked for my picture (apparently for a friend), and when I didn't send her one, I thought her broken English would reach out of cyberspace and choke me. She also asked me to give her a nickname. I decided that since she liked chocolate so much I would call her Hershey. She got mad because she thought that was a boy's name, but when I informed her that it was a last name, it took her minutes to change her screen name to "Jean Hershey". And most recently I have been asked to go on a picnic with her. Now, since this is my first experience with a 'Teacher Crush', I am not sure what to do, and when to do it. All I know is that I watch my words carefully for fear that some day the Board of Education will accuse me of soliciting a student via email. That's just the kind of note I need to end on for my Fulbright.

Oh, did I mention she skips lunch to speak with me for an hour in my office? At least her English will be up there, along with her hopes.

My blog feels like the story of The Tortoise and the Hare. My writing was the hare and it started off strong, but now that I got all the sprints and jabs out, it's slowly tiring and failing to win the race. Actually, this is the worst analogy in the world, but you see my point? I can't even make an analogy for the fact that my frequency and humor in my writing has dropped off like, uh, uh, dammit.

Well, I suppose life is continuing without any hardships. My days are filled with the usual teaching, reading, Internet TV, and Frisbee. I've had the last few days off while my students are on a trip to the mainland, some of them for the first time. I can't read the news anymore because it's too aggravating. I can only watch The Daily Show online and just make light of the facts.

Were you aware that Alberto Gonzales claimed he could not recall the firing deliberations 71 times in the Senate hearings? Yet, he also claims to recall making the decision, but can't remember when, where, or how? The man looked like such an idiot out there, but of course it takes one to know one, and that's why Bush has more confidence in him after the hearings.

Anyway, who the hell cares? I was reading Krakatoa recently and was more than 150 pages into it, when I realized that I live on a volcanic island just like Krakatoa. It's really not the kind of thing you want to think about when you're going to sleep.

My host brother used english words for maybe the 2nd time I've been here since August. He said, "alexuh, computaw, uh?" Which in remedial konglish means, "Alex, would you like to use the computer or shall I turn it off?" The kid's 13-14 years old and can't even look me in the eye when I enter the room. Did I also mention that he won't eat breakfast if I'm already sitting at the table? He just sort of peeks in walks back to his room and sits on his bed until I walk by to my room, at which point he gets up and goes to the kitchen. It's barely humorous anymore, now it just makes me feel sorry for him.

Well, this weekend is the Jeju Ultimate Frisbee Tournament. We have three teams from the island entered out of 24 teams total. We probably won't win, but we are guaranteed to play at least 6 games. The teams come from all over Asia. I believe there are 10 countries representing this year, so it should be a lot of fun.

Well, I feel like I fulfilled my quota of words for the month. I'll write when something extraordinary happens to me.

Well my friends, it's time for some bogus scribblings. I can't think of anything to write, but it's been a while and I feel it's time to let you in on the happenings of our beloved hero. That reminds me of something interesting. In Korea, there are certain locations that are referred to as "our _____" such as: school or house. It provides this sense of community and shared belonging that I think is wonderful, but then again, what happens when you move into your girlfriend's house and she decides to kick you out? Is it then her house in that argument? Or does she tell the boyfriend to 'get out of our house'? That just seems like the semantics would be confusing.

Anyway, April showers are in effect these days and it's been annoying to put trust in a online weather report via www.weather.com, actually, it's been hilarious. For example, last week I'm looking out my window and it's raining. I think to myself, well, I hope it doesn't rain this weekend for Ultimate practice. So I go online and type in my little town to see that the current conditions are cloudy. The day before it had given a 10% chance of rain. I'll admit, 10% is still a chance of 'precipitation', but the amount of rain falling from the sky was insane. I'm just saying, forecasts are one thing to get wrong, but CURRENT CONDITIONS?!?!?

Well, seriously, not much is happening in my world. I've seen some bad movies recently and then some worse ones, oh except for 23. That was one of the coolest movies I'd seen in a while, and it was on a 4x4 window on my PC from a bootleg copy where the camera wouldn't stay focused, but it added to the movie probably. Also, if you know of any job openings in The San Francisco Bay Area starting in July, send some love my way.

My favorite rabbit, not quite like Hunter though, but still cool.

The ring around the sun.

This old man.

I've been reflecting a lot upon my time here in Korea. The undeniable fact that I will be returning to The States in less than 90 days is mind-boggling. I mean, in days of yore I would have to start the journey now to set foot back on good ol' jingoist soil by July 4th (yes, I planned accordingly to celebrate my return to the US with the most patriotic day of the year). Anyway, the incessant harking by friends about this or that has made me wonder: What have I gained by being here? Now, I don't mean about language (in)abilities, practice teaching, or massive amounts of crap I deem worthy of lugging back with me. I ask this question about myself as a person. The answer sits in front of me all day long. It's as though I can see it hovering, taunting me to mouth its name, but all that comes out is my usual sputtering and subsequent drooling at the remembrance of candy inside my top drawer of my office desk. I am not going to reveal the long list of personal epiphanies that I have reached here, or even a simple answer to the above question, but I will tell you this:

I am fully proud of my year here. Yes, I have regrets about things that I failed to do or do completely, but I can honestly say that I took great advantage of my opportunities. Whether I will return is an entirely new can of worms that I would like to consider in the future.

There are things that I cannot even fathom have changed in my life back home. Sometimes it's the little things that I forget will be a part of my life again. Just the other day it dawned on me that I will soon be able to read the labels on food packages and know what's in it, if it will kill me via sodium, and how little a portion they expect you to eat(3 Oreos is never enough). I am truly excited to return, but know that once back home, I will miss the little things in Korea.

I love not tipping, I love yelling "over here" at waitresses, and I love being considered a criminal because I'm foreign(I know you're watching my every move lady, and you're right to do so. I WILL steal from you if you take your eyes off me!). I will miss eating with chopsticks(present skills: lethal), and eating from community dishes on the table. I will miss the 70 year old drunk men in the park screaming at each other because that's just how Korean men talk. I will miss DVD Bangs, drinking beer ANYWHERE you want, and hearing whispered voices saying, "foreigner" behind my back in Korean, only to turn around and respond by saying, "Yeeees. I'm from America. Where are you from?" which usually scares the pants off anyone under 4 feet tall. I will miss blatant trademark/copyright infringement, food so hot you might as well snort Tabasco, and effeminate boyfriends forced to wear "couples' tees".

But there is one thing I will not miss: Dried Cuddlefish.

Korean Conversation Killer

"I'm Mr. Kang. You Alex?"
"Yeah. Nice to meet you, Mr. Kang."
"Ok."
[awkward silence]
"I... sex."
"Hehe, ok."
"Yes, I do sex."
"Hahaha, alright alright... good for you. Hehe. With whom?"
"You."
"Oh..."
[even more awkward silence]
"We friendship?"
"Umm."
[touches me, then himself]
"Good, climb 'oreum', friendship, yes."
[deliberate silence and forced distraction]