Korean Cultural Assessment #1

Top 5 Things to get used to in Korea:

5) No distinction between Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner.
Do you like the smell of cabbage rotting in something close to concetrated Athlete's foot? No?!?! Well, it's really spicy too. That should help, but really it just opens the taste buds even more to allow the funk to infiltrate even more. (Real Kimchi is good, I'm just eating in a $1.39 All You Can Eat cafeteria.)

4) Homophobic at all? Tough Shit. Friends hold hands, and school boys sit in each other's laps. It's pretty funny to see, but even better to be a part of it. It sucks that my palms sweat. It's pretty disgusting. You know what I mean Patrick.

3) A funny man are you? Koreans love to laugh, but they cover their damn mouths and get embarassed by emotion. It's not just a giggly girly thing either, the men put their hands to their face when they laugh, and I just wonder if I made someone pee their pants. I mean who runs away and hides because someone cracked a joke? Maybe he did pee his pants?

2) What's the deal about Korean being the most scientific language? Half of my damn language class is rote learning because there is no way to understand the grammar besides remembering every single verb and the various markers and bullshit that goes along with a ass-backwards constructed sentence in the first place. Korean is on par with English as being senseless.

1) Remember those kids that smoked in the bathroom during recess? Well, that never went out of style here. Every bathroom smells like a chainsmoker's car. It's nasty, and not to mention, really weird since you can smoke almost anywhere in Korea, yet for some reason, probably bowel related, many people choose the bathroom for fix.