Korean 101: Linguistics, Power Relations, and Uncertainty

So, I've been having a lot of great workshops, talks, and of course the obligatory 4 hours+ of Korean a day. Now you may say, "Wow! 4 hours or more of Korean language studies a day! You must be speaking huh?" Well, my response will be nearly universal, though varying in my blantant word choice. The answer is fuck-off. I am drowning in a pool of hangeul and everytime I grab a phrase to lift myself afloat for air at a supermarket, the lifeguard gives me a puzzled look and lets me slip back into the water.

Yet I went to a very encouraging talk today about linguistics. Charles Chang was a former ETA, currently attending Berkeley for a PHD in Linguistics. Korean really is one of the hardest languages for an English speaker to learn, and though much of his talk was shedding light onto the difficulties I have and will encounter in the language, it made me even more determined to learn the language. I believe strongly though, that 1 year will not nearly be enough to communicate past an infantile level. I am loving the learning this language, much more than Italian(possibly due to the more positive responses I receive from Koreans when I try), but my brain physically cannot handle all the studying. Sometimes I'll hear a word, repeat it a dozen times, and then hear it 15 minutes later and wonder what the hell it means. Frustrating, you know? But I am doing well in the class and am one of the best beginning students out of all the ETAs.

Power Relations. This is a funny thing in Korea. I could probably find a link to a really great article, but that would take unwanted work that you could do instead of me, and I could just sum it up for y'all anyway.
Basically, Korea is socially structured like India, though not as divided and obviously based on class. It also allows for steps up and down the social ladder, though you must make those steps during school. In essence, how you do in school is a dire determinate for the rest of your life. You may have heard of Korean kids committing suicide after placing less than expected on the KSAT. Well, that's not THAT common, but it does happen sometimes. The Korean version of the SAT is so important in Korea, that there are special TV channels that air tutoring 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. On testing day, planes do not fly, construction is forbidden, and most places near schools are shut down to provide absolute quiet and allow for everyone to make it on time to the test. The test will determine what University you go to, period. And once you are in the U, it doesn't matter how you perform or whether or not you really do at all. You will be of that social status for life and currying favors is easy because you will just drop your school name and doors open.
Power relations are apparent in many aspects of life here. It is not entirely uncommon to be asked certain personal questions(eg How old are you? What school did you go to? Do you know Jesus? Are you married? And why not?) many of which are used to determine how they may address you as there are many different forms of polite grammar. What I find most interesting about the culture is that power relations are primarily based on age. The question 'how old are you' is used to determine absolutely who the superior is and who is junior. Years, months, weeks, days, hours and even minutes older can matter. In fact, the term friend is only used for people born in the same year. And even then, friends recognize the difference between the superior and junior in their relationship. Yeah.

On the uncertainty factor, it's harder to recognize, but think of it as taking risks. The funniest example I can think of is the way Koreans open doors. Imagine Americans walking through doors. It's very certain and determined. (Ex. Kramer from Seinfeld)
Then you have Koreans who open the door and peak around it like they will have things thrown at him/her, and knocking ever so lightly as the door swings calmly open. There are lots of little examples like this that you really, just have to witness to understand what's happening. It's too funny sometimes.

Alright. That's all I got for today folks.

So I had my first Korean crazy man experience.

Let me lay out the scene. I was walking through the underground mall in Chuncheon with 2 Korean-Americans on our program, and 1 other white male. We were walking at a quick pace, not really window-shopping anymore when we here these fast and heavy footsteps behind us. A second later, this guy is grabbing my arm and speaking korean to me so fast I can't even pick out words or even verb markers. I look at my friends who are nearly fluent, and they say that he wants me to help them. He's holding a piece of paper and he opens it for me to see the korean words for family members and the english translation. He starts reading them sloppily and so I figure the guy just wants a real quick lesson. I went through the list and sounded them out slowly for him. He then started saying things in korean that the girls translated for me. He said my hair was pretty and that the other guy's face was handsome. He asked for the english word "ladies" in korean and then said to us guys that we had pretty girlfriends. Every so often he would say one word in korean that I understood and I would repeat it to him and tell him the english word. He was so amazed by this that he thought I was actually fluent in Korean and told the two girls that my Korean was perfect. One of the girls and I just said "nice to meet you" and left, and as we turned back, the guy was busily unbuttoning part of his shirt to get his necklace off and put it on the other guy. The guy could barely think of Korean words sometimes and his mannerisms were very odd.

The next thing we witnessed was an umbrella fight with two drunks at about 4 in the afternoon. Just another day in Korea.

Korean Cultural Assessment #1

Top 5 Things to get used to in Korea:

5) No distinction between Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner.
Do you like the smell of cabbage rotting in something close to concetrated Athlete's foot? No?!?! Well, it's really spicy too. That should help, but really it just opens the taste buds even more to allow the funk to infiltrate even more. (Real Kimchi is good, I'm just eating in a $1.39 All You Can Eat cafeteria.)

4) Homophobic at all? Tough Shit. Friends hold hands, and school boys sit in each other's laps. It's pretty funny to see, but even better to be a part of it. It sucks that my palms sweat. It's pretty disgusting. You know what I mean Patrick.

3) A funny man are you? Koreans love to laugh, but they cover their damn mouths and get embarassed by emotion. It's not just a giggly girly thing either, the men put their hands to their face when they laugh, and I just wonder if I made someone pee their pants. I mean who runs away and hides because someone cracked a joke? Maybe he did pee his pants?

2) What's the deal about Korean being the most scientific language? Half of my damn language class is rote learning because there is no way to understand the grammar besides remembering every single verb and the various markers and bullshit that goes along with a ass-backwards constructed sentence in the first place. Korean is on par with English as being senseless.

1) Remember those kids that smoked in the bathroom during recess? Well, that never went out of style here. Every bathroom smells like a chainsmoker's car. It's nasty, and not to mention, really weird since you can smoke almost anywhere in Korea, yet for some reason, probably bowel related, many people choose the bathroom for fix.

Sognisam. It means... um... something mountains. I should look into that one. But Sognisam is great. Aside from me confusing it with "teacher" and telling my teacher that I was "coming to her" this weekend, everything about it was chillin.

The area is known for it's mushrooms, delicious food, Buddhist temple (Beopjusa), and the National Forest that lies behind the temple. We took part in a Buddhist service(?) and I learned the proper customs for praying. I thought all about how my dad would be laughing at my attempts at assimilation, but I thought it was only curteous to follow the suggestions of a monk. So I bowed in the proper order and gave my thanks to Buddha, but I think he knew that it was just formality.



The temple has a HUGE statue, bronzed and looming, that is the center piece and symbol of the temple. It's pretty well-known among Koreans, I guess. The rest of the grounds were prim and proper, and we looked on as the monks played the traditional drums for the spirits in the earthen world, air, sea, and afterlife. I don't want to upset Buddha or any monks reading this, but they couldn't keep a beat... not like Turzo. I send my prayers to Turzo from now on... the human metronome.

The meals that we had were amazing. The spreads were out of this world, literally. I had never had so many odd side dishes. The area is known for roots, leaves and barks as well, and the tastes were so wild. I love the spice, I love the crunch, and I love Korea... I mean... let's be honest, Korea has better food than Italy. It's just so much more diverse in flavors.

The next day I went on a massive trek through the woods behind the temple. The vegetation was like nothing I'd ever seen and the paths were outstanding. As you went up the moutain, you wondered why no one just drove up there, and then all of a sudden, the road turned into a steep staircase that looked like it would lead to a wiseman who would ask me for my three noble questions regarding life. As you went up the mountain, you could drink the water from the streams at any point. It was delicious and as pure as can be, well, that's what we were told. I think I have a pretty strong stomach, so I handled it fine, but I know one person is fighting something off. Along the way to the top we found a couple hermitages. They were pretty cool. I was amazed at the quality of homes they had built there and realized that it must have taken them years to hike up all the materials. Something like that would sure make me appreciate EVERYTHING I owned. I trespassed through their gardens and sat on their deck chairs, but to no avail did I encounter any Korean hermits. Finally, after leading a group of 7 other peeps up to the peak, I decided to have a snack and break off with some more determined hikers. It took us from peak to peak, and by the end of the day, we had hit three peaks and played in some majestic waterfalls. The humidity is so high in Korea that if you don't go swimming while hiking, then you're just missing out on fun. You really have nothing to lose when your boxers and socks are already soaked through.

My last meal was magnificent as well. I sat next to the head honcho of Fulbright Korea, Mrs. Shim, and even though I tried to practice my Korean etiquette, she refused to let me do so, which really left me confused. During the meal, I tried to make conversation, but I forgot that Koreans don't speak during meals, they just gobble like it's their last source of food for days. Afterwards, she asked me point blank, "Where would you like to be placed in Korea?"
I mean, what do you say to the person that controls all the fate of your life for the next 12 months? I told her the truth for sure. So, I got my wishes granted and am off to "Honeymoon Island". I'm pretty sure I still have to teach English... but that seems hard when all signs say that my home will be, well, uh, paradise?

OK. So let me tell you all I know about my placement.

First off. I am teaching at an all girls' high school. The specific city that I'm in is called Seogwipo. It is the second largest city on the island of Jeju, somewhere around the 80,000 mark. A little bigger than Santa Cruz, no?

I'm told by past ETAs that my school gives me a 4th floor office with a private bathroom that overlooks the ocean. Actually, it's the East Sea, but I like the idea that I'll be living on the opposite side of the Pacific from where I call home.

So, yeah, you can imagine that I might be a little dumbfounded at my placement at an all girls' school, but the directors think that I'll be able to rule with an iron fist. I sheepishly agree. I would have loved to play with the boys during recess, but hey, maybe this will give me some time to plan trips and do the things I want to do in my OWN OFFICE!! Booyah!

Anyway, today has been a pretty sweet day, though it's always hard to compare one day to the next, they are always fun and rousing.

Peace.

The suspense today was ridonkulous. First off, I had my first lesson today with Korean kids that are attending an English immersion camp here on campus. My plan was about proverbs and I went through all this work to write a lesson that I thought would synthesize fun time and worksheets. Yeah, it was a bust. The kids were so reserved and didn't want to answer a single question I asked. I thought it was because they couldn't understand me. So I slowed down and enunciated well, but they still were stone-walling me. I struggled through the 45 minute period and by the end was kicking my own ass for not energizing them enough beforehand.

But my observing teacher gave me some pointers afterward and told me where I went wrong. Thank god, I had some practice time. Some of it was just the simple fact that they are always intimidated to speak to guest teachers.

Anyway, that was all after the fact I found out where I'll be for the next year. Yeah, for those of you who knew what I wanted... I got it... I got all my wishes granted. I'm headed to Jeju-do.

So I thought I'd do this whole blog thing now and spare the people from my frequent and monotonous emails. This method will be easier for me to write down my tales as they come, oh and they come frequently! As for now, it's time I ate some rice.

Yeah, after a nice long 12 hour flight preceded by a 4 hour layover in the city I despise, Los Angeles, I made it to the Seoul/Incheon Airport. I was greeted by a woman who has been sending me email left and right only for her to not give a shit about my questions and leave me in the hands of other Fulbrighters just as confused as me and a bus driver that spoke no English.

Now I'd like to say that I practiced the Korean alphabet (hangeul) on the plane ride over, but honestly, they gave me a glass of wine and the next thing I know I was getting my arm rest privileges revoked by a Korean girl while my neck was crooked against the window. But it didn't really matter too much about the practice because I had a language placement test that consisted of me exhausting my Korean vocab: Hello, Rice, Tea, Cigarette, Beer, and Stop it! (Lolly can take credit for the last one).

Now, I've never had Kimchi before, and I know why. I've never really been a fan of pickled things, but spicy is good. Yet they don't seem to cancel each other out and make it a neutral food for me. It just plain kills me every time I eat it, and that would be for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Mmmmm. I hope it's just the shitty cafeteria that makes me want to kill myself, because I will not be able to survive eating rice, and only rice, for the next 12 months. But the BBQ is good, if I actually go out and spend the 20 minutes it takes to order food because I can't speak a damn word and sit there motioning to my mouth and and pointing to random things on the menu. Yet instead it turns out those gestures and desperation mean that I'd like to change tables.

But I had my first language class today and it was quasi-successful. I seemed to know more than all my classmates, and spent the entire night tutoring people on a language I've studied for a total of 3 days, maybe? Anyway, my stomach is grumbling and I should probably just go to bed since I'll never get a complete meal at this damn school.

Yeah, things are good, but Typhoons are on their way... not sure what to expect.

Peace.